Kaia’s Tooth Story
So, my sweet little Kaia has a new “one front tooth” look that you most likely have noticed. The story behind what happened to her left tooth is pretty simple—she fell, and her tooth was knocked out. However, there is a much longer story to what happened and what I have learned from the experience.
It all started a few days ago when I decided that I wanted to step back from my outer purpose, and really focus on my inner purpose of freeing my mind. I planned on meditating, being mindful in my daily activities, and putting all of my current projects on hold. I wanted to find peace, to stop thinking so much, and to find tools to stay in the moment.
I don’t like to admit it, but I am not as mindful as I like to think I am. For example, I can get SO deep into my projects that I ignore what is happening right NOW. It’s a habit that I have had most of my life. Before I had a family, I would become so engrossed in my artwork that I would barely eat for days. I didn’t even want to take ten minutes away from my artwork to eat!
As you know, this isn’t a very good trait to have when you need to take care of a 2 year old. I, of course, still do all of my mommies duties, but I can hear my mind telling me, “I want to work on my projects. I want to draw. I want to write. I don’t want to sit here and play with blocks!” I don’t like having that voice in my head, because I want to ENJOY Kaia’s childhood with her—not wish I were doing something else!
So, the second goal I had for the weekend was to find balance between family time, and project time. So, I stopped checking my phone, stopped working on my e-book & kids book, and focused my energy on myself and on my lovely daughter, and beautiful husband for the weekend.
However, things did NOT go as planned.
Without getting into too much detail, I’ll just say that my husband and I were “at each others throats” all weekend long. We were constantly arguing. We kept pushing one another’s “buttons”, and activating the other’s “pain-body.” Both of our energies were dark. It was not fun.
I can’t remember a time (since Kaia was born) that we were arguing THAT MUCH. The strange thing is that we were arguing over unimportant things that didn’t matter at ALL.
So, for the first half of the weekend (that we were supposed to be appreciating each other), we were treating each other like crap. By the second half of the weekend, we stopped arguing and were having a better time.
We had many things we had to “get done” that weekend. Like, normal chores, plus one broken-down car, a long car ride, and a few family visits, so I bet all of that negative energy was stemming from the stress of daily life. Whatever it was, it was short lived and we moved on.
On Sunday, we were having a much better day. However, I found myself still feeling a lot of negative energy that I couldn’t shake off. I also found myself feeling frustrated that I “wasted” the entire weekend being angry, when I was “supposed” to be using the time to enlighten myself.
When we finally got home from the long, stressful weekend I wanted to sit down and meditate, to try and shake off the negative energy. After a few minutes of meditation, I was feeling better, and even feeling gratitude. I was looking at my family, and took a moment to appreciate how happy and healthy they were.
My husband wanted some time alone, so he left the room. Kaia and I were hanging out, playing with toys, when she decided that she wanted to climb up onto the computer desk (like she does several times a day). So, I did the usual, and I got up from the couch five or six times to get her down, and tell her “we don’t climb the desk,” but Kaia is a strong willed little girl, and doesn’t give up. So she kept trying.
Somewhere along the line, I got a text message. When I went to get my phone
from the couch, I heard a BANG. I turned around to see Kaia fall backwards off of the desk. Landing on her bum, and then finally hitting the back of her head on the floor.
Then, she started to cry. Blood was coming from her mouth. My husband ran into the room, and when we went to pick her up, I noticed her tooth was gone. I yelled, “Her tooth! Where’s her tooth?”
I felt terrible.
Kaia’s usual comfort thing is breast feeding. So, I nursed her for a few minutes. She stopped crying. Her gum stopped bleeding. It was over. She was happy again.
So, I put her down, and what does she do next? She walked right back to the desk and tried to climb it again! I’ll tell you—kids can be fearless!
At this point, I started to feel some anxiety. What do I do? Are we supposed to put the tooth back in? Are we supposed to go to the Emergency Room? It was 8:30PM and there were no dentists open! I didn’t know what to do. They must have missed the “when your 2 year old knocks out her tooth” lesson in the Parenting 101 class (oh wait, no, there is no parenting 101 class!).
So, not knowing what to do, I turned to Google, of course.
I found a helpful article that said the first thing we should do is find the tooth. That way we know Kaia didn’t swallow it. So, we started looking for the tooth near the desk, and couldn’t find it anywhere. Eventually we found it across the room. I picked it up, and was like, “This is the tooth?” It didn’t look like any tooth I ever saw.
I felt like I wanted to call someone, so, I called an emergency dentist, who basically said “Nothing we can do, she will be fine. This happens a lot. She will just be toothless until the adult tooth grows in.”
Then, I called my mom and cried.
Did I mention that I felt terrible?
The next morning she saw her doctor, who basically said the same thing as the dentist. “She will be fine; She will be missing a tooth for a few years.” Neither the doctor nor dentist was worried; so that put my mind at ease.
For the first day she was toothless, I was in denial. “NO! She can’t be toothless!” I thought, how will she eat apples? How will she look? Will kids tease her? Will people think she’s seven years old? Will she hate it? Will she blame me forever?
I kept thinking “I feel so terrible, I wish this never happened.”
That’s when I remembered what the Buddha said about surrender. That suffering fades away with acceptance of what IS. What was the point of denying what was? She lost her tooth. That happened.
Eventually I accepted that YES, her tooth is gone; and she is still the same amazing little girl she was with two front teeth.
I lOVE her new look now. Why? Because every time I see that little gap, I remember how thankful I am to have her. I was so wrapped up in the small stuff that weekend, that I forgot to appreciate her. My beautiful baby girl. Today, I look at her gap and remember that I am SO grateful to have her. Every time she smiles I see her toothless appearance, and I smile back. And, this little reminder will be around for many years to come (until that adult tooth pops through).
Sometimes being a mom can be really scary; so we have to treasure our children when they are healthy.
That’s what I learned. That, and to surrender to what is. <3